5 Things I Wish Women in Their 30s & 40s Knew About Hormones and Perimenopause

A gentle cliff-notes guide so you’re not blindsided by your own biology

Whether you’re 35 and just starting to notice tiny changes, or 43 and wondering if this is perimenopause or just LIFE, this is for you.

I know we all technically had “health class” when we were younger, but that’s it. That’s where the education stopped 👀.

And now we’re all expected to just kind of…get it.

And since something that’s never happened to us before obviously doesn’t come naturally, we try to get all our info from social media. Enough said there.

What I really wish is that we all got a little handbook in our mid-thirties that said:

“Hey, things are about to shift. Here’s what’s happening and what actually helps.”

Instead, most women I talk to say things like:

“I feel… off, but my labs are ‘fine.” “Is it just stress? Am I making this up?” “No one told me this is what late 30s would feel like...what the??”

So here’s the little cliff-notes version I wish every woman had before symptoms go from “huh, that’s weird” to “wait, who am I?”

These are not rules.
They’re just pieces I see over and over again in real life and in the research.

1. Perimenopause usually starts earlier than you think

Most of us are taught that perimenopause = hot flashes at 49.

In real life, hormones start to shift years before that.

For many women, late 30s/early 40s is when you might notice:

• heavier or more clotty periods

• mood swings that feel “bigger” than they used to

• sleep getting more fragile

• feeling wired at night, and a little flat in the morning

It doesn’t mean your body is broken, promise.
It means your hormone rhythm is changing and wants more support.

A quick note on ovaries, adrenals, and estrogen

Here’s the piece almost no one explains:

Your ovaries have been the main home for estrogen + progesterone for years.

As you move through perimenopause, they start to slow down and get more…let’s say…“glitchy”. Some cycles = big hormone swings, some cycles = very little.

Over time, more of the hormone “backup work” is picked up by your adrenals and other tissues (like fat tissue).

Which is why your adrenal health and stress load really matter here.

If your adrenals are already cranked up making cortisol all day, they’re not in a great position to also gently help with hormone balance.

This is also why estrogen can feel wild for a while:

At first, it can be spiky and unpredictable. Later, it gradually trends lower, and that can show up as sleep changes, temperature shifts, and feeling a bit more off in general.

You’re not “losing it”. Your body is literally rerouting where hormones are coming from and how they’re made. That’s KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

And the kinder you are to your nervous system and blood sugar in this season, the easier that handoff tends to feel.

2. Blood sugar is not just a “diet” thing. It’s a hormone thing

If I could put one sentence on a billboard for women in their late 30s, it might be:

Your hormones ride on the back of your blood sugar.

When blood sugar is up-down-up-down all day, your body:

• pumps out more insulin

• gets more inflamed

• has a harder time making and balancing other hormones

This is where the classic stuff shows up:

Afternoon crashes, waking at 3 a.m., intense sugar cravings, hangry fights with people you really care about (oops).

And this is why I like to remind everyone that simple support truly goes a long way:

For instance, you can start your day with protein, not just coffee or toast.

Pair carbs with protein or fat (no naked carbs).

Don’t let yourself get accidentally starving all the time (which can be annoyingly hard to do when not doing this means having some sort of food stash/plan for the coming days).

But as I said, it’s not about being perfect. Just… steadier. Your hormones love steady.

3. Muscle is one of your most underrated hormone tools

We talk a lot about estrogen and progesterone.

We talk way less about muscle, even though it’s basically a hormone helper:

• It soaks up blood sugar more easily

• It supports metabolism

• It helps you feel strong and stable in your own body

And as estrogen slowly changes, muscle becomes even more important for mood, metabolism, and bones.

This does not mean heavy gym culture if that’s not your thing.

It can look like:

• 2–3 short strength sessions a week

• bodyweight work at home

• picking a few movements you can actually stick with

Think: “How can I help Future Me stand up from a chair with no problem?”

That’s hormone work too.

4. Your nervous system and hormones are always in communication

If your nervous system is always in “go, go, go,” your hormones get that memo.

Chronically “on” mode can mean more cortisol, less space for progesterone to do its calming work, and periods that feel more intense (emotionally and physically).

And no, the answer is not “just be less stressed.” (If only.)

It’s more like:

• Is there one small place in your day where you can downshift?

  • A 5-minute walk alone

  • A few deep breaths before opening your laptop

  • Sitting in the car for 2 minutes in silence before you go inside

Tiny, repeatable cues tell your body:

“It’s safe to turn the dial down a little.”

Hormones love those messages.

5. “Normal” labs are not the whole story

I hear this one constantly:

“My labs are normal, so I guess this is just getting older?”

But:

Lab ranges are wide

“Normal” doesn’t mean “optimal for you”

And many early shifts don’t show up clearly in standard labs yet

This is where how you feel matters.

• Are you waking rested?

• Do you feel like yourself mentally?

• Are your cycles predictable-ish and manageable?

Labs are tools. Helpful ones.

But your lived experience is data too.

Sometimes the most powerful thing is noticing:

“Something changed. I want to understand it.”

Instead of: “Well, my labs are fine, so I guess I’m crazy.”

You’re not crazy. You’re noticing.

If you’re reading this thinking “Oh… this is me”

Same.

You’re not behind. You’re not late.

Late 30s and early 40s are actually a beautiful time to get curious instead of panicked.

You don’t have to overhaul your life.

You can start with:

• a slightly more protein-anchored morning (if you’re already a subscriber, you have access to my protein cheat sheet here)

• one strength session this week

• one tiny nervous-system downshift you actually look forward to

• and just… paying attention

Because once you know what “better” feels like in your own body, it gets a lot easier to spot when something is off. And to do something about it 😊.

xx,
Dinah